


things we never say

by isloremipsumafterall



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, Femslash February
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 23:08:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9791243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isloremipsumafterall/pseuds/isloremipsumafterall
Summary: Five times they didn't tell each other how they really felt and one time they did. Or at least as much as Jack and Miranda can.





	

**One**

 

Jack’s not one for words, not unless she’s about to be cursing out someone but Shepard’s changed her during her time on the Normandy. She still doesn’t like to talk feelings and emotions with people but she can handle talking to her kids better, it makes her a better trainer than she ever thought she could be.

 

Still she isn’t about to open her mouth and tell Miranda who just so happens to be bleeding out in front of her that it’s going to be okay. It’s a lie and they both know it.

 

“Shepard isn’t far out.” Jack says, checking her omnitool again for the ETA from the Normandy. It’s just luck that she stumbled upon Miranda while on this mission with the 103rd Marine Divison and it’s even more luck the Normandy was in the area. She takes a second to yell at her students to watch their barriers when the sky thunders above them with grenades being lobed overhead.

 

“Jack.” Miranda’s voice distracts her, it’s far too serious than she likes even though she’s always made fun of Miranda for being like that. A hand catches her own and Jack stares down at Miranda, trying not to look at how red her once pristine white parts of her outfit are now.

 

A year ago she would have been fine with leaving Miranda to die. A year ago they weren’t in this awkward relationship of sleeping with each other and leaving.

 

Miranda presses her lips together like she’s trying to stop herself from saying anything and not for the first time Jack wishes she could make Miranda lose her iron control.

 

“Tell Oriana.” Miranda finally gets out, leveling Jack with a pleading look. “If I don’t make-”

 

“Listen cheerleader, you’re going to make it.” Jack sneers and apparently the lies can fall from her lips after all, “Stop trying to pussy out on this war so soon.”

 

“My mistake.” Miranda smiles but its wan and just makes her look more tired.

 

Jack subtly checks the ETA again but is saved from worrying about it when she hears the engines of the Normandy up above them.

 

“Looks like you were right Jack.” Miranda comments, “I’m not out yet.”

 

Jack stays quiet and just helps Shepard load Miranda onto a gurney to push her into the medbay. Chakwas can do the rest.

 

“Did you want to stay?” Shepard asks her and Jack, for all her blustering, still hesitates.

 

“Just tell her to stay out of the way.” Jack pushes her own way off the Normandy and back to her kids, leaving Miranda and any emotional sentiments behind.

 

 

**Two**

 

Miranda finds her on one of the 103rds ships a week later while Jack is in the middle of showing Prangley a more powerful biotic wave.

 

“You look like shit.” Jack tells her point blank, for a second she thinks about how much worse Miranda looked on that planet.

 

“Charming.” Miranda rolls her eyes. She isn’t clutching at her stomach and when Jack blinks the blood she sees there is gone so everything is fine really.

 

“Prangley stop gawking, get back to work.” Jack says without having to turn, she can tell by the lack of explosions in the room that he’s just staring at them.

 

Miranda makes her way towards her, watching Prangley for a second. “You’ve done great work with them.” She comments and Jack preens under the compliment.

 

“Someone had to.” She says and silence falls between them for a good five minutes before she turns to Prangley and nudges her head to the door. “Hit the showers Prangley, you’re done.”

 

She bumps him on the shoulder when he’s close enough, a quiet show of support and the kid beams as he walks away.

 

“So what brings you here?” Jack asks, turning back to Miranda.

 

Miranda shrugs and Jack knows this is just a companionship call then. They end up in Jack’s bunk, sweaty and tired and her hand presses against Miranda’s stomach where there’s almost nothing but smooth skin and hardly even a scar.

 

They fall asleep like that and Miranda’s gone the next morning like she was never there. There’s no note or words passed between them for goodbyes. Jack gets up and lets her memories of the night fall to the wayside.

 

 

**Three**

 

She meets Miranda at the Citadel, in Purgatory, with the lights flashing over them. Her students are taking advantage of down time and while she’s pretty lax about it Jack still keeps an eye on their alcohol consumption.

 

It’s all Shepard’s fault for making her some sort of responsible person now.

 

For a change Miranda’s wearing a red dress that’s cut just so to show her stomach. It’s like she’s flaunting her survival to anyone watching, it’s all cocky and sure just like Miranda ought to be.

 

Jack isn’t about to say she’s relieved about that fact.

 

“I haven’t gotten any closer.” Miranda mumbles just loud enough so only Jack can hear her, they’re right in each other’s spaces, crushed by the bodies around them on the dance floor and acting almost like a couple just to exchange information.

 

It was Miranda’s idea, Jack’s was to tattoo it on her body and let Miranda find it later that night.

 

“Kahlee checked the logs, they swung by overheard at some point.” Her mouth tastes sour with the idea that Cerberus was so close to her students again. She didn’t even think about how close they were to her until days later. Somewhere down the line her survival stopped being her main priority.

 

“I’ve heard whispers of Horizon.” Miranda is frowning but that changes to some kind of flirtatious smile when a Turian glances their way.

 

It’s all false, Jack would rather the frown, rather see Miranda as the calculating bitch she knew she could be rather than the Miranda that was putting on a front.

 

It makes her angry, partly at Miranda, partly at herself. She’s letting herself be compromised so instead of pulling Miranda closer she physically pushes her away and delves into the crowd to lose herself.

 

Miranda doesn’t show up that night and Jack pretends to herself that she wasn’t waiting up for her to.

 

 

**Four**

 

“You can’t be serious.” It’s the first thing Miranda says to her when she finds Jack again, staring at the Varren Jack’s adopted.

 

Jack grins sharply, “He sleeps in my bed.”

 

“Not if I’m there he doesn’t.” Miranda mutters and they’ll argue about it for sure though it won’t be like the bitter silence that was around them from Jack leaving that night.

 

“Who says you get to be there?” Jack snorts in disdain.

 

“I’m fairly certain of it.” Miranda smirks, all surety and Jack wants to punch her in her smug face. Or kiss her. She doesn’t do either, just stares. Miranda relents after a few seconds. “I’m going to Horizon tomorrow. Oriana’s there.”

 

Horizon - where people keep going and never get heard of again, the panic for a split second makes Jack sick and she curls her hands into fists, letting her nails bit into her skin to stop herself from screaming.

 

“Let’s do this later Jack.” Miranda sighs when she sees Jack anger. She makes her way to the bed and pushes Jack down, looming over her.

 

Jack let’s her, grasping harshly at Miranda’s hips, so hard that it’ll bruise and stay there as a reminder that Miranda has other things to come back to. She does it so she doesn’t have to say it and instead the words get lost somewhere between her head and her lips.

 

 

**Five**

 

Miranda leaves her with an open comlink identification to reach her until she gets to Horizon.

 

Jack’s fingers trace the code and she almost punches in: _be careful_.

 

She throws her padd across the room at that and Eezo catches it, breaking it in the process and her link to Miranda.

 

She tells herself that means nothing.

 

 

**One**

 

They trade banter and insults to each other across the bar like it’s nothing. Shepard finds them like that and teases them but as soon as he’s gone they stare at each other.

 

“Congratulations on not dying.” Jack drawls, she saw all the newsfeeds about Horizon. She waited until she saw Miranda’s name listed as a survivor.

 

“That’s it?” Miranda raises an eyebrow. “That’s all I get? No comment on my poor decision making?”

 

“It was shit.” Jack agrees with her. She catches Miranda looking at her, her face unreadable and frowns. “What do you want me to say?”

 

Miranda sighs, “I suppose nothing.”

 

That’s what she’s expecting of Jack after all.

 

“Hey.” Jack says quietly instead, not quite looking at Miranda and more to the wall behind her. “I’m glad you didn't die.”

 

She feels embarrassed after it and stands up, taking her drink with her, Miranda’s hand shoots out to grab her wrist to stop her before she walks away though.

 

Miranda reaches out with her other hand to grasp Jack behind her head and pulls a move that usually Jack would, tugging her in for a scorching kiss.

 

“Didn’t think you had it in you.” Jack laughs when she finally pulls away.

 

“Someone told me not to pussy out about this.” Miranda shrugs.

 

Nothing more actually needs to be said between them and Jack smirks to herself as she drinks and enjoys the rest of the party. That night Miranda goes home with her and stays until the morning for once, it says more than any words do.


End file.
